📘 Understanding Pronouns: A Simple Beginner’s Guide

Jordan S.
Apr 17
2 min read

Why They Matter and How to Use Them Respectfully

Pronouns are small words with big meaning. For many transgender, nonbinary, and gender-diverse individuals, using the correct pronouns is one of the most basic—and powerful—ways to show respect.

If you’re new to gender-inclusive language, don’t worry. This guide will help you understand what pronouns are, why they matter, and how to use them confidently and kindly.

💡 What Are Pronouns?

Pronouns are the words we use to refer to someone when we’re not using their name.

Examples include:

He/him – typically used by men
She/her – typically used by women
They/them – used by many nonbinary people
Other pronouns like xe/xem, ze/zir, or no pronouns are also valid

Some people may use a combination like:

“Hi, I’m Alex. I use they/she.”

🏳️‍🌈 Why Pronouns Matter

Using the correct pronouns:

Affirms someone’s identity
Reduces gender dysphoria
Builds trust and inclusion
Shows you respect them as they are

Misusing someone’s pronouns—especially repeatedly—can feel like erasure or rejection.

Even if it seems unfamiliar or uncomfortable at first, making the effort means the world.

✅ How to Ask About Pronouns

It’s okay not to know—what matters is how you ask.

✔️ Respectful ways to ask:

“What pronouns do you use?”
“Hi, I’m Sam (they/them). How about you?”
“How would you like me to refer to you?”

Avoid saying “preferred pronouns.”

It’s not a preference—it’s part of who they are.

🔄 What If I Make a Mistake?

It happens! The best thing you can do is:

Apologize briefly: “Sorry, I meant they.”
Correct yourself and move on
Practice—it gets easier with time

Don’t over-apologize or make it about your guilt. Keep the focus on respect.

🧠 Tips for Everyday Inclusion

Share your pronouns in email signatures, social media bios, or name tags
Normalize asking pronouns in group settings
Use gender-neutral language when unsure:
“They left their bag.” instead of “He left his bag.”
Practice using neopronouns (like xe/xem) with sample sentences

🧡 Final Thought

Respecting someone’s pronouns is about seeing them as they are, not as you expect them to be.

Pronouns may be small, but using them correctly is a big act of love.

And love, after all, is genderless.